Open Book
by candyazngirl
Summary: I remember when I first met Bakura, he'd call me a spineless wimp that didn't deserve to walk the same ground as him. But he asked me to go back and start our relationship all over. Normally I'd refuse, but he asked me to give him a chance, so I will... Ryou's POV, Yaoi, Tendershipping. Rated M for violence, language, and sexual content. AU.
1. Loneliness

Chapter One

I was lonely.

Truthfully, this thought had crossed my mind several times before this, but now I realized how lonely I felt as I stared at myself in the mirror. My hand rested on my reflection as I continued to stare deeply into my own eyes. They say that the eyes are a passage to the soul. Why is it whenever I looked into my own I saw nothing, but a creeping darkness that threaten to swallow up my entire being?

I hated looking at myself. It was just a reminder of my mum and little sister. It was also a reminder why I don't have any friends. I looked at my hair and combed my fingers through it slowly. My hair was an odd color. It was pure white, almost whiter than freshly fallen snow. It stood out.

That wasn't the only that that stood out. My accent was clearly British and my grades were at the top of my class. I was quiet compared to the majority of the school and since I had very little friends at all, I was usually alone. One even declared that I was some anti-social emo. It was just so easy for someone to pick on me. Ironically enough, my number one torturer was a classmate that stood out even more than I did.

My name is Ryou Bakura and honestly, I don't know why you're reading my tale. Perhaps you were bored and you wanted to peek into a teenager's diary? Maybe you wanted to try to dig into my life and take some juicy bits out to taunt me at school?

Frankly, I don't understand how my life got so interesting all of a sudden. I was just trying to live my life, but I think that something wanted me to suffer. Something wanted me poke and push me until I fell into my own form of living hell. So obliviously that something **had** to be Bakura Yami. He was the one that wanted to push me until I broke, but I will not break.

"Ryou! How long are you going to stare at your own reflection?" my best friend called out from the kitchen that was located on the first floor of the house. He was Marik Ishtar, an Egyptian that was sharing this house with me. We shared almost everything ranging from bills to sex life, not that I have a sex life.

I sighed and made my way downstairs once I was fully dressed. I took my bag and smiled at Marik that was clearly breaking the school's dress code by showing off his midriff.

"Marik, you're going to get yourself suspended again," I told him with a laugh. He looked at his clothes and pretended to be shocked. He acted like he didn't notice that he put the clothes on.

"It's not my fault that the uniform needed some flair to it," he whined to me. "But if you insist I'll put on the ugly thing."

He made a face and went upstairs. It wasn't long before he came downstairs with the proper uniform on this time. I had to admit, that the uniform didn't really look that good on him. It barely fit him! Maybe it would have been better for him to wear the girl's uniform, since he was too thin for any of the men's.

"Let's go before we're late," I said as I opened the door.

"Is that prison the only thing you care about?" Marik asked with crossed arms. He smiled and ended up dragging me. He wanted to get some breakfast in before class started.

Seeing him now made me feel like our horrible pasts were behind us. When I was around him, I didn't feel lonely anymore. I didn't feel that I was empty on the inside or was a corpse that was just moving through the motions. I wasn't a homosexual, so don't you dare think that I felt those feelings about him. He was just the person that would make jokes when you're down to cheer you up. What else could I say? He was my best friend. He'd probably help me hide a dead body if I needed to.

When I was younger, I lost my mother and sister. My father wasn't ever around so I decided to move in with Marik that didn't have anyone else either. He had it worse than I did though. Marik still had nightmares about his father and his older brother Malik. He missed his sister, but he couldn't stand being in that place anymore. He moved away from abusive figures and it has served him well. He could live on his life as a normal person. Well…Malik was pretty normal, except for his strange urge to wear women clothing.

"Ryou!" Marik's voice shouted out, snapping out of my daydream.

"Huh?" I answered back. That was probably going to be the most intelligent word I ever had.

"Geez! I was trying to snap you out of your daydream for a while now," the tan boy whined as he leaned over my desk. When did we get to our class? Did I really space out that badly?

"Nevermind," Marik said as he waved his hand dismissively. He looked like he was trying to shoo away his annoyance. "I bet the reason why you're daydreaming is because you have a crush on someone! Tell me the lucky gal!"

I blushed, because he had raised his voice a tad too loud for my tastes. What if someone heard? How embarrassing that would be!

Marik, however, mistook this blush as him being right.

"Oh, so there is one," Marik said with an all-knowing smirk. "Or is it a guy?"

It felt like I could have spit out blood right at Marik, but that would be kind of sick.

"There is no guy or girl," I told him truthfully, but he didn't want to believe me. He wanted to believe that I actually fell for someone in this rotten school. But, honestly, what was there to love? Any girls that had some interest me were practically insane, as far as I could tell. The majority of them belong to this girl anime club that only had the interest in these books that were literally just porn without plot. If any of them came up to me, it was always a question about either Bakura or Marik.

Then the guys were much worse. Even though I am not the slightest bit gay, most of them are assholes or unattractive. The only one that was actually okay in my eyes was Marik or Yugi Moto and I am not going to date either of them.

Yugi was also my friend, but not as close as Marik. He was a peppy boy that was around my age, but a lot shorter than me. His hair was an odd color and shape. He didn't have any bullying problems, because of his friends helped him. I don't really consider his friends my friends, because they often forget my existence with a lame excuse that I blend into the wall paper. They were fun to talk to once in a while, but that was really it.

"You're day dreaming, again," Marik said. "A lot on your mind huh?"

"Y-yeah," I replied.

"Well don't worry about me judging you if the person that you like is a male," Marik said with a grin. "It's not like I have the right to criticize you anyway."

It was true. Marik was gay.

"I don't like anybody like that," I told him as I took out my note book for class. That was then when Bakura kicked down the classroom door, even though it was unlocked, and walked toward to me.

"Hey, Brit," Bakura said to me in annoyance. He must have been having a bad day. Unfortunately, he sat right next to me so avoiding him was near impossible when he say down. "Those creepy damn squirrels kept squeaking about how we'd look good together."

He gestured to the girls that were obviously from a younger year and looking at me with these eyes that were supposedly cute. They fluttered their eyelashes and I grimace.

"So tell them you're not gay," Bakura demanded with a sharp glare that felt like he was trying to shoot a laser out of his eyes.

"Why don't you tell them that you're not gay?" I asked, wondering why that my bully would even let the two follow him around without throwing them off the roof top. Bakura hesitated.

"Just tell them or else!" he shouted a bit loudly, no one dared to look over at him. They were afraid that they would be caught staring and then something terrible would happen to them.

"I'm not gay," I said slowly to the girls and they looked disappointed. They had finally stopped their squealing, which was a lot like squeaking. No wonder Bakura called them squirrels. "Are you happy now, Bakura?"

"Pleased," Bakura said as the girls left the class room, but his face told me he wasn't even close to even smiling. Marik glared at him, I could feel it. He was over protective of me around Bakura, because of the time that Bakura had caused my stomach to have a series of black bruises.

"Why didn't you just tell them that you're not gay?" I asked again.

"Because, I'm gay," he told me. I was dumbstruck at this news that he had placed upon onto me. I looked at Marik and he was equally as surprised. "What? Don't tell me you're a homophobe or some stupid shit like that, Brit."

"My name, for the last time, is Ryou," I said, annoyed with how he was calling me a Brit. It was just insulting. "I just never thought you would be gay since you have several girlfriends before and don't you dare deny it, one of the teachers caught you having sex with your girlfriend in one of the empty classrooms."

"Fine," Bakura spat towards me, hatefully. "I'm sick of dating those slutty pieces of shits, alright? Besides if I told those squirrels that I was suddenly experimenting then they'll never leave me alone."

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him.

"I'm not a free freak show for your entertainment so stop staring at me like that," he said out of anger as he clenched his desk so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Don't talk to Ryou like that!" Marik practically hissed out.

Bakura looked like he wanted to say something back to Marik, but he hesitated and looked as if he was thinking about something important. I was really curious to what he was thinking and what he might do, but somehow I felt like I was going to pay for my curiosity. They did say that curiosity killed the cat after all.

"I think we should start all over," Bakura said to both me and Marik. I stared even harder at him. Who was this? This was certainly not normal. "What?! What the hell are you looking at?"

"I don't think that's the right way to start all over. What are you up to?" Marik asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. I knew that Bakura was up to something. It wasn't like him to ask for something like that. Then again, it wasn't like him to tell me that he wasn't straight either. This day was already the second strangest day of my life and class didn't even start!

"It takes too much energy to continue this routine over and over. I'm going through a lot of shit right now so I thought it would be easier to have you as friends, not enemies," Bakura told us with a deep sigh as he looked away.

Okay…**now** it was the strangest day of my life.

"Give us a reason why we should even trust you," Marik spat out as he stood in front of me protectively.

"Marik," I said, trying to calm him down before he caused trouble for himself. Marik was already missing too many days because of his habit of altering the uniform so it would show his midriff several times. He didn't need to be hurt by Bakura and miss even more classes. Truthfully it would be troublesome for me, since I was the one that helped Marik catch up with the things that he missed in class.

Marik looked over to me, ignoring how Bakura seemed to want to drill holes into his back with his glares. I sighed gently, as I knew that this decision would somehow mess up later along the line, but I just didn't want to deal with Bakura. The rest of the school year might be pleasant without him pestering me in the morning.

"Let's give him a chance," I told Marik. "Not to be our friend or anything, but it would be nice if we stayed out of each other's way."

Marik was about to protest, but he knew that what I said was pretty sensible. If Bakura didn't bother us, then it would be less stress in the long run. After all, lately, Marik seemed to be a bit obsessed with Bakura since I came home with bruises on my stomach. I winced as I remembered those times as I couldn't eat right for weeks without throwing up into the nearest toilet. Marik was instantly very concerned about me and angry towards Bakura.

"So, what? You don't think that I'm worth being one of your friends?" Bakura accused.

I blinked at him. What? Why would he suddenly be jealous? Wouldn't it be better for the both of us if we just ignored each other's existence?

"I-I just thought that since you're having some troubles, you'd like to not deal with me in the morning," I replied, hoping that I didn't cause him to explode. He was seriously worse than a woman. It was like walking blindly into a minefield.

"Who said that I didn't want to be your friend?" Bakura said making a face.

"I don't know," I said. "I just assumed since you always called me a spineless weakling that didn't deserve to walk on the same ground with you, you'd want me to be far away from you."

He blinked at me in shock. I don't think he actually expected me to remember that.

"Why do you still remember that?"

Bingo.

"Well, it's hard to forget when you tell me that about every other day," I told him. I could feel Marik's face heat up with anger.

"I was just having a bad day," Bakura said, making a face.

"Everyday?" Marik asked. "Look, if we can't even trust you then there's no point of a friendship."

It was true. The only people in the world that I trust were Marik and Yugi, and I didn't expect Bakura to suddenly said that he wanted me to trust him.

"Give me a chance," he said so softly, that I barely even heard him. My heart suddenly clenched and I frowned deeply. He reminded me of someone, but I couldn't place my finger on it. He just looked so…lonely and out of place. Maybe he was telling the truth and he wanted to become friends with me. Maybe it was true that he was just having a bad day everyday he bullied me. Even if there was a chance that he might be telling me a lie, I couldn't just dismiss the possibility that he might just need someone. So before I even notice my mouth started moving.

"Marik, I think I'll give him a chance."


	2. Obsession

Chapter Two

"Why did you even try to befriend him, Ryou?" Marik asked as we walked from the school to this movie theater.

"I don't know," I told him honestly. I really didn't know and I really didn't want to think about it at all. I just wanted to walk in silence, but Marik wasn't the type to be quiet throughout the whole walk. I had promised him that I'd view the latest movie with him, because I owed him from the time where I had gotten insanely sick and he had taken care of me. I just didn't want to really watch this movie about Duel Monsters and time travel. It just felt strange to me. Besides that was too much to wrap my mind around when I am still utterly confused about how Bakura was acting today. He was trying to be nice to me.

Every time I thought about it, it felt like there was a weight in my stomach that got heavier and heavier with each passing moment. By the time that I snapped back into reality, I noticed that I was in the theater and Marik was busy buying a bunch of snacks from the snack line.

"Hey, you," Marik said as he gave me a bucket of popcorn. "Come on, quit standing there and let's grab our seats."

I nodded and followed him as he picked out some seats for us. It wasn't long into the previews did Bakura came into the theater and sat next to me. He looked like he didn't even notice my existence.

"Bakura?" I said softly, not sure that I was seeing things correctly.

"Oh hi," he said as he looked over at me with his red eyes. His eyes stared at me for a while and I blushed gently. I understood why Bakura yelled at me for staring earlier. It felt so awkward to be stared at. Not that I didn't have any eyes stare at me before, but when the person is this close to me, it was unnerving. It wasn't long before our eyes snapped back to the screen after prolonged staring at each other.

Marik poked my shoulder with a grin on his face. He winked at me when I turned to look at him and I blushed even harder. I shakily ate my popcorn as the scenes played before my eyes. I didn't know what the meaning behind Marik's smirk was and honestly, I don't even think I want to know why. Did he think that I had a crush on the infamous Bakura?

I don't understand why I would have a crush on him. He practically looked like my twin. The differences between us were noticeable, but we were still too alike. I would have to be a narcissist to actually fall for that man. Then again…I did spend most of my time in the morning staring at my reflection…

No! That was not the point! Bakura was cruel and sadistic. He had a haughty laughter that would instantly install shame into your system. He had no pity for the weak and scowled at the strong. He was horrible! I say all of these bad things about him and yet I gave him a chance. What's wrong with me?

I looked over at Bakura to take a good look at him to see why Marik would even consider me dating him, when I noticed that he has been staring at me. Was he staring at me the whole time? Why was I thinking like a bloody school girl with a crush? Oh, god, that's why Marik had thought that I had a crush on him.

I continued to stare at him and he didn't break eye contact, until of course there was a big explosion on the screen. Then he snapped his head back to the screen. I frowned gently and returned my attention to the screen.

It still didn't make any sense to me. How could I ever have a crush on the man who tormented me? Why now? Was it because he wanted me to give him a clean slate? There were clearly too many questions that ran through my head in one moment. It made me dizzy and confused. I felt so tired. I just didn't have the attention span to keep up with the duel that was happening on the screen so I closed my eyes and rested.

* * *

"Hey, Ryou," a voice called out to me.

No, not yet. I don't want to wake up. I felt so warm.

"Ryou, get up," the voice called out to me. It felt so soothing and I just wanted to get closer to this warmth that I felt.

"Hey get up, you stupid Brit," the voice said again harshly. I snapped back into reality and looked at Bakura that looked annoyed at me. He made a scowl and I flinched. It felt like he was going to hurt me or at least hold this against me for the rest of my life. I had fallen asleep onto his shoulder.

Gah! I should have fallen asleep onto Marik's shoulder. That would have been less awkward. It would still be awkward, but it would be less awkward. All I could muster in a reply to Bakura was muttering, "Don't call me a Brit."

"Did you sleep well?" Marik teased with a grin. "You were out like a light!"

"If you didn't want to watch the movie, why did you even come to the movie theater?" Bakura asked. "Was it because your boyfriend dragged you here?"

Marik laughed out loudly.

"Boyfriend?" Marik asked with a laugh. "Like I'd date Ryou! No, he just owed me one. Anyway, he's straight as far as I know."

Bakura made a face that I couldn't begin to understand the emotions that lied behind the simple frown. He looked at me and I could have sworn I saw his eye twitched.

"Can we go now?" I asked Marik. "Um…It was nice seeing you Bakura…"

That was a pathetic response, but honestly what else could I say? Marik seemed to take my hint for once and dragged me out of the theater before Bakura had a chance to say anything to me.

"So, so," Marik said as he grinned even wider than before. "Since when have you been crushing on bad boys?"

I swear Marik was a girl on the inside.

"I am not crushing on Bakura," I said, but I felt my face heat up as my mind wandered to the memory of wanting to move into the warmth. Clearly the warmth was Bakura, so I wanted to cuddle into Bakura? Oh, my head was starting to hurt me now. My answer to Marik was probably not very convincing since he laughed.

"Sure! I saw you, sneaking glances over at him," Marik said. "Honestly, I don't trust him. I actually hate it when he's around you. I don't understand why you would ever forgive him, but if you're crushing on him then everything makes sense!"

"You're just imagining things," I told him dismissively. "I barely even know him. I just gave him a second chance, because it was the right thing to do."

"That's not what I think," he said as he hooked his arm around mine and opened the door to our house. We went in and he sat on the comfort of our couch. I sat next to him. "I think that you're crushing, badly. You just won't admit it."

"Marik, you said so yourself," I said with a deep sigh. "I am not gay. I am completely straight."

"Mhm, and I think you're in denial," Marik said with a nod.

"I am not," I argued. "There's nothing to be in denial about. It's your turn to make dinner by the way."

"Oh right, oh right," he said as he got up. "One of these days I'm going to tell you, I told you so. To either you are falling for Bakura or the sheer fact that we can't really trust him."

"Okay, so you're basically saying, you either want me to stay far away from him or shag him," I said with a bit of a pout. Marik laughed at me and I blushed. What was so funny?

"You're so silly, Ryou," Marik said. "Hey, don't worry about it too much. If anything happens…"

He leaned in closer, until our lips were centimeters apart. My breath is caught in my throat. I could feel my face heating up.

"I'll protect you," he told me in a voice that was barely above a whisper. He pulled away with a smile that he used whenever he tried to pass off as being innocent. I sighed deeply, my face still heated from the near kiss.

"You're really fun to tease," Marik said with a grin as he slipped into the kitchen before I could say anything back to him.

Even though Marik had just invaded my personal bubble, I noticed that my mind continued to wander back to Bakura. One might say that I have an unhealthy obsession with him.


	3. Warmth

Chapter Three

_Feverishly, our skin touched._

_ I felt the spark between our two bodies lit up into a roaring fire. Each kiss was a gift of bliss upon my flesh, and his hands had caused this strange warmth to engulf me. My sight was taken from me by a silk blindfold, and my senses were heightening to the point that I felt like I was going to explode. A soft moan escaped my mouth. There was simply nothing to match this pleasure that I had to be in the other person's arms._

_ Who was this girl that I was dreaming of?_

_ I reached out my hands out to touch the one that gave me the sense of completeness. I had to know. There was an urge that swelled in my chest to find out who was it that was touching me like this. But even though I reached out, there was nothing for me to touch. The warmth had vanish and in its place was a sever feeling of coldness. I took off the blindfold._

_ My senses were flooded with a bright light. A pain developed in the back of my head. Even though I was surrounded by this blinding light, there was no warmth. There was no company. The place was empty. I looked around anxiously and gasped as two arms wrapped around my waist._

_ "I'll protect you," the voice said gently. So soothing was the voice, I wanted to close my eyes and just rest in the other's warm. I looked at the arms that were wrapped around me. They were slightly muscled, but where not to the point that it was unattractive. I knew that this person was a man. The shock of that should have had me throwing this man away from me, but I wanted to stay in this protective warmth. It felt familiar and nice._

_ Curiosity got the best of me as I wanted to see the man's face. Who was it that gave me such happiness? I turned around slowly to view the source of the warmth._

I was shaken violently, until my awakener had decided to throw me onto the floor. I groaned in pain and in frustration. I was so close. I almost saw the face of the other man. And then it hit me. I was dreaming about another man.

My face flushed darkly. I could feel it.

I was not gay! Why did I dream about another man like that? I mean, it was nice, and I mean incredibly nice, but I'm not like that. I am straight. I like women. I mean that was the only thing normal about me.

"Ryou! Geez, I was trying to wake you up for so long, but you were moaning," Marik said, making a face. "It's your turn to make breakfast. Did you have a nightmare?"

"N-no, maybe…" I said with a slight stutter. I was still in shock. "I don't know what exactly I was dreaming about."

I got up. I was slightly pissed off that I was woken up because Marik couldn't wait for breakfast, but I didn't feel the need to voice it out loud. Marik would be whining endlessly about how he woke up early to cook me a _special_ breakfast, which was commonly eggs and toast, and I wouldn't wake up in time to make him breakfast like I was supposed to. At least cooking gave me time to think.

Who was that person in my dream? I know it was a guy, even though I still think that I am straight as an arrow. I didn't see his face, but those words…

I'll protect you.

I heard those words before and it was lately. I'm sure of it. I hummed as I thought about it. Who would say that to me?

"Are you done yet?" Marik asked as he peeked in. I could hear his stomach growl. Was he that hungry?

"Soon, I guess," I told him as I continue to prepare the pancakes. They weren't that hard to prepare, but Marik was the lazy type when it came to cooking.

"So if you weren't having a nightmare and you were moaning," Marik said, starting out his sentence slowly. It was almost lost on me as I was very deep into my thoughts. "Then does that mean you were having a wet dream?"

If I was drinking something I would have spit it out right away,

"No!" I shouted out. "If I was having a wet dream, then _that_ would have happened."

"Oh right," he replied. "You didn't have a boner."

He said it so bluntly that my face heated up again. Why would I have a wet dream? There wasn't anyone that I found attractive enough yet and no one made any sexual advances towards me lately. Oh, wait…Marik did.

Now I remember!

Marik had told me that he'd protect me last night. That must be where I got the dream from. Wait, but if I got it from that does that mean that I have a crush on my best friend? No, it can't be. I'd recognize him in my dream right away. Besides those arms weren't tan. Maybe I was dreaming about someone else, but it was started because of Marik's advances. That made the most sense.

"Marik, I blame you for my dream," I said without putting another thought about how that must have sounded to him. Looking back at it after it had escaped my mouth, I shouldn't have said that. Marik's mind was so dirty.

"Oh! So you were having a wet dream of me?" Marik asked with a grin. "I'm sorry, Ryou. I understand why you would fall for such a flawless body like mine, but I only like you as a friend."

I blushed darkly.

"I-I was not dreaming of you," I stuttered out as I put the pancakes on the plates. "I was dreaming about somebody else."

Opps. There I go again with my big mouth of mine.

"Oh? Really? Then you are crushing on somebody," Marik said as he sat down. "I knew it! I was right. So who is it? Is it someone from our class? Oh maybe an older person?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully.

"You don't know? Are you keeping secrets from me?" he asked with a pout and those big eyes that were as wide as dishes. He was trying to pull off the puppy dog look that Yugi pulls on me every so often. It would have worked, but he ruined it by eating the pancakes that I put in front of him. I don't even think I saw him take a breath as he practically inhaled the food.

"I'm not," I told him as I just stared at him eating. "Where do you even put all of that?"

"You're just jealous that you're not as skinny as I am," Marik said as he continued to eat. "Besides I don't eat as much that Yugi's friend."

That was true. Whenever I sat next to Yugi at lunch I felt sick from watching his friend eat tons of the cafeteria food. It was just disgusting. So I often don't even go to the cafeteria. I'd just stick around Marik until the bell rung, talking about things that I'd probably forget by the end of the day. I wonder what I would do if Marik wasn't around.

* * *

The lights in the classroom gave off a soft buzz that made me want to fall asleep. It was just a review of the math problems that we did for last night homework so I wouldn't be missing much if I just took the time to fall asleep, but I couldn't. What if I had that dream again in the middle of class? Wouldn't that be so embarrassing?

Wait, did someone just hit me with a paper ball?

I looked over at Bakura, who threw a paper ball at my face and snickered. The paper ball landed in my lap and I made a face. I thought he wasn't going to pick on me anymore. I frowned and pouted but all I got from him was him mouthing the words, "Open it."

So I looked down when I teacher was focused on the problem on the board, because on of my classmates made a small mistake. I open the paper ball that was in my lap and saw the message that was written sloppily.

_You look like you're falling asleep. Did you have a rough night with Marik or something like that, Ryou?_

So, he was making fun with me. I frowned and glared at him. He shook his head and gestured to the note so I looked back to the note. There was a little bit more.

_Maybe you're just stressed out. Do you want to go somewhere afterschool._

I raised an eyebrow. Okay, maybe I was quick to judge and I did say that I would give Bakura a chance at becoming my friend, but that invitation still sounded suspicious. I looked over at him and noticed that he was trying to pretend that he was remotely interested in the lesson. I looked forward too and didn't exchange a word with him. I suppose there was no harm in going to some place to hang out with Bakura…as long as Marik would be there.

* * *

"Wait, what do you mean that you're busy?" I asked Marik. I actually did accept Bakura's invitation on the condition that Marik would go with me, but apparently my best friend had more important things to attend to. "What are you doing after school?"

"If you must know," Marik said. "I'm planning to have hot steamy sex in the boy's shower room. What? You don't believe me? Okay, I'm going on a date."

"A date?" I asked. I didn't know that Marik was seeing someone. It had to be someone that wouldn't approve since he kept it a secret from me. I guess I'll leave him alone about it until he comes home tonight. "Oh, then I'll just go myself with Bakura to the Pizza Parlor."

"Wait! You're going with Bakura to somewhere?" Marik asked, slightly in shock. "Wait, isn't this a bit too fast? It took me weeks to convince you to go anywhere with me in the beginning of our friendship! I can't believe it, are you…replacing me?"

I laughed at Marik. It was just so funny.

"You think I'm replacing you with Bakura?" I asked. "Marik, you'll always be my best friend. I thought was I was going to be with you when I went to the place to meet up with Bakura, but you're busy and I don't exactly want to just cancel on him."

"Oh I see," Marik said with a grin. "So then it's like a date?"

My jaw dropped.

"N-no, no where close!" I stuttered out. How come whenever I try to defend myself, I start to stutter and mess up really badly?

"Ryou, Ryou, relax," Marik said with a smile. "I was just kidding. You know I think this might be good for you, even if it was with Bakura. You need to relax a bit."

I smiled at Marik since he didn't get any strange ideas for once.

"But," Marik said, interrupting my moment of contentment. His face looked menacing and his smiled. "If he does anything, just call and I'll straighten him out. Alright?"

I laughed. He couldn't be serious. Right?

"I'll be fine," I told him. "Just have fun on your date."

Marik grinned at me and looked at the time. Apparently I made him late for his date. I also made myself late for the meeting with Bakura at the Pizza place. Hopefully Bakura didn't get too mad at me. I didn't want to even up bruised and abused because of him again. When I was rushing over to the Pizza place, I could have sworn I saw a familiar person with the face that was similar to Marik.

It was Malik.


	4. Mystery

Chapter 4

"I'm sorry that I'm late," I say to Bakura who looked pretty pissed off that I made him wait. "I was trying to convince Marik to come with me, but he's busy with a date, or something."

"So it's just the two of us then?" Bakura asked as he looked at me. I don't understand the expression on his face. It's not like I have experience with dealing with many people. So, I just simply sat down across from Bakura. There was an awkward silence that hung between us.

"Hm, why are you so quiet, Brit?" he asked, but the nickname that he continued to place upon me wasn't the same taunting insult that used to use on me. I assumed that he had no intention on calling me by Ryou.

"I don't know what to say," I said simply.

"You really aren't a people person after all," Bakura said with a sigh. Well I couldn't deny that. "I should have known since you only seem to hang out with Marik in your little corner of the classroom."

"I'm trying," I insisted. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. He didn't seem to believe me. He put his hand on his head. He appeared to be having a headache of some kind. I hope it wasn't from me or anything. "Why do you only address Marik by his name?"

"What? Are you jealous or something?" He asked with a smirk. He grinned at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. It gave me a bad feeling.

"N-no, but I don't like being called Brit," I told him and looked away. Again, my face heated. Maybe I was getting sick. "It's just insulting."

"I don't really think it is that insulting," Bakura said as he continued to grin. What was he smiling about? Why did I feel like I was being cornered by him like a small animal? It was certainly not the feeling I'd like to feel when talking to a friend. I don't know if this is going to work out if I'm going to be this tense around him. I shouldn't have said yes. This was making me more confused than ever.

"Well I do," I said with a slightly more irritated tone than I expected.

"Woah, calm down," he said with an amused smile. "I thought we were under some kind of truce. If you don't like that name then maybe I should call you something else."

I sighed, frustrated with how he was treating me like a joke. He was just pressing my buttons and making me squirm for his own entertainment. I just wanted to go, but that little voice in my head said that I shouldn't be so serious around him and that I should forgive him.

"It would be a lot easier if you just called me Ryou like Marik," I told him. Normally I'd ask someone to call me by my last name, but I knew it would be strange for Bakura to call me Bakura.

"I feel sorry for Marik then," Bakura said. "Does he feel like he's being replaced?"

"Oh not you too," I whined. There was something in common with those two. They like joking around in similar ways. It's just that Bakura had a temper. That was probably why I can't relax around him. "You're not replacing my best friend. Besides, how can you? I barely know anything about you."

"I like drinking, sex, and stealing. I don't like weaklings and my 'brothers'. My hobby is sketching," Bakura said abruptly. It took me by surprised, but he continued to list facts about himself. "I enjoy junk foods like pizza, popcorn, and chips. I was adopted. I have two 'brothers' that I hate, but we have to live under the same roof for now anyway. So how about you?"

"W-what?" I asked, still stunned about all the sudden information that was thrown at me. Wait! Did he just said he liked to steal things? No, no, must be my imagination or something like that. I have such an over active imagination. Yeah, that must be it.

"You said you barely knew me and I thought this would be a better way to start a conversation," he said with an actual nice smile that soon twisted into an evil smirk. "And I'll be able to know more things about you. You know, to tease you with."

I don't know if he was joking, but he must be.

"U-um, wait. I'm still overwhelmed by what you just told me," I said as I tried to regain my thoughts. What should I tell him? Should I pick out my words carefully? I'll probably mess up either way. I'll just tell him about the same things he told me to make it fair. "Well…I like all types of games…L-like video games or board games. I don't like um…I guess the people at our school? I don't really have a hobby, unless you count sleeping. I like sweets like cake. My mum and sister are dead. My dad is in Egypt again so I'm living with Marik. Is that good enough?"

"Eh? So you live with Marik?" Bakura asked, leaning against the palm of his hand. "About your mother and sister…"

"Hm?"

"Never mind," he said shaking his head. I felt there was a silent apology somewhere. So that means that he must pity me. I didn't like it when people pity me, but I chose not to say anything to him. My stomach growled loudly.

"O-oh," I stuttered out and Bakura laughed loudly.

"You're hungry?" Bakura asked. "Then maybe you should have actually come on time huh? As punishment you'll be treating me."

"E-eh?!" I squeaked out. Really? How? Bakura was strange. It was unfair that he was making me pay for this when he was the one that wanted to come here in the first place, but I didn't complain. Somehow, it felt like the air between us was getting a bit lighter.

* * *

"Marik, I'm home," I called out into the house. I didn't expect that my talk with Bakura would last until night fall. It wasn't until I saw the sun setting from the window inside of the pizza place did I gain my sense of time again. The sound of the TV comforted me as now I knew that Marik was home. I was worried for a second, because how I saw Malik in the streets had upset me. I didn't want Marik to be hurt by that man anymore than he was back before we started to live together.

The comfort I was feeling soon left me as I didn't get a reply from Marik. I slowly approached the couch in fear that he would be bloody and beaten, but when I saw his face. I saw that he was sleeping. I smiled at the sight and looked at the time.

It wasn't that late. I should make dinner.

Oh, was Marik waking up? He was. His eye lids twitched and he yawned loudly. He stretched and his eyes fluttered open to see me. He looked so worn out. I wonder if he had gotten lucky with his date or something.

"Oh hey," Marik said as he looked at me. Hi voice expressed his lack of energy. I could see that he was cuddling into the couch pillows again, trying to go back to sleep. "When did you get here?"

"Just now, do you want dinner?" I asked. It was my turn to cook anyway. I was expecting a tired nod or something like that, but instead Marik sat up and looked at me with a smile.

"Would you?" Marik asked. "I'm starving."

I laughed at how he was a puppy right now.

"Sure," I said as I made my way to the kitchen. "So how was your date?"

"It was good, but he has no sense of foreplay," Marik whined as he flopped back onto his back. "But it was really-"

"Stop," I said suddenly. "I do not want to know the details."

He laughed and smiled.

"It was a lot of fun," He said. The sound of bliss and joy in his voice made me smile. It felt like forever since I heard him this happy. Whoever this person was clearly was doing some good with Marik. The only thing that I had a problem is, Marik will start talking about how the sex is like in detail to me, and honestly I don't want to hear those details. Maybe if he fed those girls at the anime club they'd leave more guys alone.

"Oh, right," I said as I just thought that I should probably tell Marik about his elder brother. He deserved to know. "I saw your brother today on the street."

"W-what?" Marik asked with a big stutter. I could hear him tensing up. I felt bad for telling him the news like this, but I don't think he should suddenly run into his brother on the street. I needed to make sure he was at least a little careful now that Malik was sighted in the city.

"Yes, I saw him walking when I was meeting up with Bakura," I continued as I warmed up the frying pan. "I think you should be careful when you're outside. I know he didn't…do that do you like your father, but you did say that he abused you when you were back at his house. I just wanted you to know."

"Y-yeah you're right," Marik said with a nervous laugh. Was he that shaken up by the news? It was strange, not knowing what was going on in his mind. "Well, I'm not that worried about it. The city is a big place."

Marik did have a point, but still…

"If you say so," I replied gently.

"So how was your date with Bakura," Marik asked as he got into the kitchen. He changed the subject for a reason. I didn't know what it was, but I bet I won't be able to bring up the subject of his brother around the house for a while. Hey, he just called it a date!

"I-it was not a date!" I said as my face heated up. Ugh, I felt sick. "We only talked for a bit."

"What did you talk about?" he asked, being back to his nosey self. "I want all the sexy details."

"There are none," I stated with an upset pout. I didn't like how Marik was teasing me. I am not gay. I am completely straight. Yeah, I am completely straight even though I had a dream about another man. No, this isn't the time to doubt my sexuality.

"We only talked," I stated again in case Marik didn't hear me. "We shared some likes and dislikes. A little about our family, but that's all. Then we talked about how annoying the people at school were."

"So you two found out that the only thing you had in common was how much you disliked the people at the school?" Marik asked. "That's a weird conversation."

"Well, I don't dislike the people at school," I said slowly. "I just don't like how they act."

"That's basically the same thing," he said with a laugh. "Wait! You don't hate me right?"

"Don't be so silly," I told him. "It was awkward without you though, but he started the conversation up pretty fast. I really think he's trying to become my friend, Marik."

"I still don't trust him!" Marik whined. "He's just a shady character."

"You're also a shady character," I retorted. "Besides, I did say I was going to give him a chance."

"I know," he said, sounding defeated. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't, I won't," I told him with a smile. Somehow I felt like Marik was right and that I should run away from this before I became too attached. These instincts were supposedly accurate, but I just couldn't. It felt like I was being drawn in by the mystery that was Bakura Yami.


	5. Confusion

Chapter 5

Okay, eggs, milk…What else did I need?

It was Sunday and truthfully I was jealous of how Marik could lie in bed all day without a care in the world while I was stuck grocery shopping. I sighed gently as I tossed in the chocolate pudding into the cart. That's when I saw a familiar blonde cross my sight.

Marik? What was he doing awake? Maybe he forgot it was my turn to get the groceries?

It didn't really make much sense for him to be here. He normally forgets to shop for groceries. He would always complain about the boring chore, plus he didn't seem to want to go outside much when I told him about Malik. I might as well call out to him and shop together. It was getting rather boring by myself anyway.

"Marik?" I called out. The blond figure walked back and looked at me. That was not Marik at all. It was Malik. He gave me a sharp glare so I gulped and quickly turned around, hoping that I could still escape from the psycho.

"Come back here," Malik said angrily. I ditched the groceries and ran out of the store in great haste. I looked behind me to see that the Egyptian was still tailing me. My breathing started to run ragged as I wasn't the athletic type. I decided to turn into an alley, but I should have known that it would lead to a dead end. Did I learn nothing from the obvious TV clichés that happens when the protagonist was being chased?

I turned around and Malik pinned me to the nearest brick wall. I gulped.

"It's you Ryou!" he said with an evil grin. "Oh how nice it is to see you again!"

I trembled in his hands as he roughly grabbed my arms. I squeaked out, scared about what he wanted with me. Whenever Malik wanted something from you, it wasn't good. That's all I knew from what Marik told me. I tried to squirm and get away from him.

"Hey, hey," Malik said as he frowned deeply. "Stop squirming."

I couldn't stop. The fear of being hurt was too powerful. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away from him.

"I said stop squirming!" He growled out as he roughly held me in place, making me wince. Then I cried out in pain as he bit my neck hard. A sharp pain ran down my spine and my eyes were tearing up a little. I cannot stand pain at all. "Heh, if you just stayed still then I wouldn't have hurt you."

That was a lie. That was definitely a lie. Don't be deceived. That's what I told myself.

"Hey are you a virgin?" Marik asked as he tilted his head oddly. He got angry when I didn't reply to him so he tightened his grip and I felt my skin bruising. "Answer me."

I nodded shakily.

"Hmph, good. I was just kidding about not hurting you," Malik said as he tighten his grip. "I'm going to punish you for taking my sweet little brother away from me. I'll have to take your innocence from you."

He growled out darkly and his eyes were filled with anger. I cried out in pain.

"S-somebody help! D-don't hurt me!" I shouted with all the energy that I could gather. I wanted to get away. Let go, let go, let go! I don't want to be taken like this. He ripped off my shirt and I screamed out of pain. He growled darkly at my reaction.

"Quiet, or else I'll make it hurt even more," Malik told me in a sharp hiss. I whimpered. His eye twitched in annoyance and he raised his fist to hit me, but then there was a loud noise. Someone had hit him on the head. Malik passed out onto me and I could finally see who saved me.

It was Bakura.

I let out tears of joy and pushed Malik to the side and hugged Bakura. I was so happy to avoid being taken by Marik's psycho brother. I buried my face into his chest.

"Stop crying, you weakling," Bakura spat out. He kicked Malik's body. "That idiot Malik got what he deserved. So stop your idiotic crying."

I sniffled, but the tears wouldn't stop rolling down my face. I looked at Bakura's face with a tiny frown. Why did he save me? It wasn't like it was his obligation to. Maybe he just wanted to hit Malik, because he had some grudge against him. It sounded a lot like him.

I don't know. I don't want to think about it anymore. I was tired. The tears were making me sleepy. It was warm being near Bakura like this. I didn't know why. My legs felt like jelly, but I felt safe near Bakura. There was a feeling of uneasiness somewhere inside me, but that didn't matter at the moment. I chose to ignore the fact that I was cold and in an alleyway. My body however did not want to ignore this fact and shivered.

"Hey, Brit," Bakura said. I had no energy to yell at him to stop using that name. I closed my eyes. "Hey, hey Brit! You're burning up. Hey don't pass out on me! I'll leave you here to be raped by Malik!"

I doubt it. I seriously doubt it, Bakura.

* * *

It was so warm. It was perfect.

Except for that blasted ringing in my ears. Oh, wait that's my phone. I sat up slowly. My body ached as I answered the call. I had to instantly pull the phone away from my ear as Marik was shouting loudly at me.

"Where are you? I haven't seen you all day!" Marik shouted. I rubbed the back of my head. What was he talking about? I was in home in my own bed. In my pajamas…Wait this isn't my clothes. It's way too big on me. Hey, wait! This wasn't my room either.

I looked around frantically.

"I don't know," I told him. "I'm in a bed somewhere."

"What?! Look out the window for the street, I'll come get you!" Marik shouted, worried about my safety. I tried to get up, but my legs caved in on me and I fell onto the ground with a loud noise. "Ryou! What happened?"

"I-I can't get up," I told him weakly. "I don't feel well."

Before Marik could yell something else across the phone, Bakura slammed the door open.

"What the hell are you doing on the floor?" he said crossing his arms. He scowled in annoyance as he helped me back onto the bed. "Sit still like a good boy. Who are you talking to? Marik?"

I nodded slowly, and he snatched my phone out of my hand. I was too tired to care so I laid back into the pillow. I relaxed and closed my eyes.

"Hey it's me, Bakura," I heard my look alike say into the phone. Hm…What were they talking about? It feels so distant right now. Should I even care? Wait, it sounds like they are talking about me.

"Hey, wake up," Bakura said in a rough tone and shook me.

"No, five more minutes," I whined out and then Bakura slapped my cheek. That woke me up and I glared at him. I coughed. Oh, so I was sick, but that doesn't mean he can slap me. Actually slapping a sick person doesn't make any sense!

"Wake up, I brought soup to you," he said as he put the bowl of chicken soup right next to me. I really didn't feel like eating right now. "Soup is what you feed to sick people right?"

"I don't want to eat," I told him. I just didn't. I wasn't hungry.

"You're eating it and that's final," Bakura said as he forced open my mouth and shoved a spoonful into my mouth. Ah! It was hot! It burned my tongue, but I managed to swallow it. I now know one thing. Bakura does not know how to treat a sick person right. I choked slightly on the soup.

I coughed horribly and looked at Bakura. He was nice. He just didn't know how to treat people right. Well, that's what I think. I can almost hear Marik yelling at me that Bakura wasn't like that. He'd tell me that I had to watch my back in case he backstabs me. But Bakura saved me, so he must be a nice guy. I smiled gently at Bakura.

"Thank you," I said softly. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"It's nothing," Bakura said. "You don't have to thank me. Just eat the fucking soup."

I sipped the soup slowly once he gave it to me and noticed that it was actually pretty good when it wasn't being shoved down my throat. He was about to leave the room, but he looked like he remembered something and turned around.

"Oh right," he said. "Don't leave this room. Malik lives here."

I was sipping the soup when he told me that and I practically choked on it. Wait what? Malik lived here? Was it the same Malik that almost raped me in an alleyway, because I took in his younger brother? Why was he here? Wasn't this Bakura's house?

"Uh…yeah," Bakura said awkwardly. "I'm going now."

"N-no!" I shouted out. He looked back at me. He raised an eyebrow at the sudden shout that I let out. He mustn't have thought that I'd protest so loudly when Malik could over hear me at any moment and possibly try to rape me here on this very bed. My voice came out in a softer volume. "Don't leave me. I'm scared."

Bakura sighed in frustration and closed the door. He locked it and walked over to me and sat on the bed.

"You are a spineless wimp," he said with a sly smirk. "You can't even be alone for one minute once you know there's predator around the corner."

"W-why is Marik's brother living with you?" I asked, trying to keep the soup down. I was so scared that I was trembling. It must have been a pathetic sight to Bakura.

"He's my brother," Bakura answered. "He was adopted recently, because apparently his father was murdered and his sister couldn't afford to take care of him. I knew he was Marik's brother, but with how the crazy bastard has some obsession with his younger brother, I decided not to tell you. So tell me, why does that psycho want to kill you?"

"I took away his brother from him," I told Bakura softly and coughed. My throat was itchy and hoarse. The soup only made it slightly better. "Marik was abused by his father and apparently sexually abused by his older brother. So I took him with me to Domino City. That's why he lives with me."

"But now you have that psycho maniac out for your ass, literally," Bakura said with a nod. He understood what was going on. "Honestly though, this 'family' of mine is filled with psychos. The other brother of mine is Yami. I hate his guts. He acts all high and mighty. You saw Malik so you know how messed up in the head he is."

I wanted to say, 'But Bakura, you're not exactly normal either,' but I didn't want to be thrown out of the house. Or worse, my look alike will be shouting loudly to the point that Malik might come in. I don't think Malik would ever leave Bakura alone if he knew that his so-called brother in his new adopted family got in the way of his revenge.

So instead I smiled. Then in a blink of an eye, Bakura leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips. It was rough and bruising, but it felt nice. Why was he kissing me? He could get sick.

Wait! That's not the problem! That was my first kiss!

Bakura pulled away, grinning like he had won some prize. All I could do was stare at him with my jaw dropped. How?...Why?


	6. Confession

Chapter 6

_"Ryou," he called out my name so gently that I was already squirming. "Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I care about you, Ryou."_

_"Oh god," I gasp out as I clenched the silk sheets tightly. The warm hands had trailed down my bare chest and pinched my nipples. His hot mouth licked the now harden nipples and then blew cold air upon them, sending shivers down my spine. Oh, it felt so good._

_ Barely touching my skin, he trailed down his hands down to my pants and slide I off. He lowered his head down and slowly licked my shaft starting from the base to the tip. His hot breath on my sensitive skin made me want more of his warmth. He moved back up to kiss me as he pumped my cock slowly._

_ The kiss was heated. It was wonderful to taste his unique flavor and toy with his tongue as he played back with me. He tilted his head to gain more access as he ravaged my mouth. We sadly had to pull away for oxygen and he panted gently against my lips. My hands were now in his white hair and I was falling for his eyes. I knew who he was. I knew the person that I was kissing._

_ It was Bakura._

I woke up gasping for breath. My little problem was distracting so I went into the bathroom to take care of it. Then I return to the sanctuary of my bed. Those dreams were like nightmares to me. They were a treat of a fantasy that I never wanted to have. I don't even think there will be any chance of it happening in the future anyway. Because…

I've been avoiding him, ignoring him.

He's probably really angry at me, but I couldn't help it. I was in shock still. Out of my whole 16 years of life, I had never kissed anyone until now. Bakura took my first kiss. It was really shocking! It hasn't even been a week since we had become friends, and he kissed me. The main problem was that I actually liked it. I kept having these dreams about him, that I had woke me up earlier than usual, making me lose my precious sleep. Who could blame me?

The kiss was simply breath taking for me. It was mind numbing. And now it was giving me a headache, because I am worrying about so many things. I worried about how Bakura saw me. I worried about my sexuality since it's starting to be clear that I have to be at least bisexual, though I still don't want to admit to it.I don't know why this was happening to me. How does a relationship progress this fast from angry and hatred, to the point that Bakura would actually kiss me? Where in the name of logic did that fit in?

"Ugh," I rubbed my temples to soothe my pain. It has been about two weeks since he had kissed me when I was at his house. It probably happened in his bed too. After that night I had stormed out of the house. I could have sworn that Malik saw me, but he was too sleepy to care. Bloody hell, I just want to die. I hid my head under the pillow and tried to shield myself from the world. Luckily, today was a Saturday. There wasn't any school. No Bakura for me to avoid. If there wasn't a Bakura to avoid then there was less pain for me.

"Ryou, how long are you going to sulk around?" Marik asked as he poked me through my blankets and pillows. "Did Bakura do this? You haven't been the same since you came from his house."

Gah, I did not want to talk to Marik about this, but thinking this over, I should probably tell him. He deserved to know a little bit of what's going on since it was worrying him. Besides, he was my best friend if I couldn't tell him about this then who else could I tell?

"It's Bakura, kind of," I told him as I tried to muffle my words with the pillow. He didn't seem to hear me, but then again, who would? He moved the pillow away from my face. I reached for the pillow, but he threw it to the other side of the room.

"Okay, now tell me what's wrong?" Marik asked. "Bakura is worried too. Well, more like angry, because you're avoiding him, ignoring him, and outright pretending he doesn't exist. There must be something wrong, because normally you wouldn't do that."

"Bakura kissed me," I mumbled to myself, hoping that I didn't have to repeat myself. The good thing was Marik heard me. The bad thing was Marik heard me. Honestly with a friend like him, anything I do would be a lose-lose situation.

"Really?! Was he also the one that gave you that hickey on your neck a few weeks ago?" Marik asked, butting in his nose yet again. "Let me guess, you guys had crazy sex over at his house, but then you got into a lover's spat and now you're giving him the silent treatment."

"N-no!" I shouted. Bakura did not give me the bite on my neck. It was Malik, but if I told Marik that then he had a whole different thing to worry about. I didn't want to be a burden to him. All the bruises on my arms came from Malik as well. They still haven't faded. It was horrible since I had to hide them from Marik. I know that he noticed, he just chose not to say anything.

"Then did he force himself on you?" Marik asked as his eyes narrowed in anger. I swear he was bi-polar. His mood switched more than a woman when they were pregnant.

"N-no, well actually…he only kissed me and I um…I kissed him back," I said as my face heated up again. I better not be sick again. Then again, I could be a whole different kind of sick.

"You kissed him back, so you lied to me," he stated. "You do so have a crush on him!"

"Marik!" I shouted. "This isn't the time for you to be joking around like this. I am seriously confused. Why did I kiss him back?"

"Oh, so you're still in denial," Marik said as he pat my back. "I actually pity Bakura right now. That's weird. Don't make me feel like that again."

"I just like women," I said. "Not guys."

"Are you so sure?" he asked. "I can help you find out whether you like boys or not, Ryou."

I gulped as he leaned closer to me. He kissed me gently. It was a tender kiss compared to Bakura's, but it felt wrong. When I kissed Bakura, it felt right.

"Marik, I'm sorry, but it doesn't feel right to kiss you," I told him. I thought about a way to explain it to him. "It's like I'm kissing a family member."

"So kissing a guy that looks almost exactly like you…won't make you feel like you're kissing a family member," Marik said, pouting. "Maybe you're just a narcissist. That explains why you spend so much time in front of a mirror."

He had a point.

"But, when I kissed Bakura, it felt different," I tried to explain. "It felt right. Do you understand what I mean?"

"I understand perfectly," he said. "You clearly fell for Bakura. I told you that you had a crush on him. Are you finally out of denial?"

I paused to think about this over. I was disgusted when Malik touched me, but he's a rapist so it's pretty common to feel disgusted when someone that was trying to violate you. The kiss with Marik wasn't that bad, but it wasn't good either. When I thought about other boys, I didn't feel turned on, but that was the same with girls. The only one that I felt remotely any emotions towards love was Bakura after all. I wouldn't actually call it love just yet, because it was too early for me to say that I love him. But, this might actually be my one shot at happiness.

Only…I think I already mess it up. I avoided Bakura! He must not like me very much right now. I don't even think he liked me in the first place. I was wimpy to him and he hated those kind of people. Even Marik said that he was pretty angry for me ignoring his existence lately. He might hate me now. Oh, what am I going to do?

"Marik, if I do like Bakura in that way, he'll never forgive me for ignoring him," I cried out. "I just know it. He's not the type to forgive and forget, Marik. Oh, just give me some advice! I feel so confused."

"Just tell him that you like him," Marik said with a deep sigh. "There's no reason to stress over it. You'll feel better once you told him."

I nodded at Marik. Yeah, that's what I'll do!

* * *

I can't do it.

I just can't do it.

Right now I am facing Bakura, face-to-face. Marik decided to be entertained by other things so he'd give me this time to talk to my look alike, but it was so hard. He was glaring me down and I could feel my fingers tremble. There were butterflies in my stomach.

"So, tell me why exactly you were ignoring me," Bakura demanded. I squirmed in my seat, and I wanted to get up and run, but Marik was blocking my way by sitting next to me. He pretended to be entertained by the menu. "So? Spit it out."

At times, Bakura was really scary.

"A-alright," I started out. "Remember that time that you kissed me?"

"How could I forget? I got myself sick after that. Get to the point," he demanded. It was technically his fault for kissing me, but I don't think he'll admit that anytime soon. I gulped.

"That was my first kiss," I said really quickly.

"What? Really?" he remarked. His glaring face turned into a witty smirk. He looked to be amused with what I was saying currently. He was definitely a sadist.

"Y-yeah, s-so I was avoiding you because I needed to figure out my sexuality," I told him in a stuttering voice. He raised an eyebrow and stared at me. Oh I hate it when he stared at me. It felt like he was staring right into my soul or something silly like that. "I…I think I like you."

Bakura looked at me with an unreadable expression for a couple minutes.

"So you want to go out with me?" he asked.

"Y-yeah, but I don't know how exactly this relationship would go since I always thought I liked girls," I blurted out, blushing even darker. Oh, he was going to say no. I just know it. Even though he kissed me, it couldn't have meant much to him. He probably had a lot of more attractive people than me. There was no chance in the world that he would actually say-

"Alright."

"Wait, what?" I thought out loud. My face must have looked like a cherry tomato once I noticed that my inner thoughts had just spilled out, even though it wasn't anything embarrassing. "Really?"

"Yeah really," Bakura said as he leaned over the table and kissed me deeply. I squeaked and moaned gently.

"Hey! Hey you two!" Marik called out. "You know? Best friend here? If you want some sexy time then that's okay, but can you two get a room?"

I flushed pretty darkly and looked over at Bakura that was smirking pretty evilly right now. Was he plotting something? No, why would he do that? There was nothing in it for him to go out with me. It's not like I'm really rich and he's a gold digger. I'm not very attractive, so it can't be my body.

Yeah, that's right. I had nothing to worry about.


	7. Blind Love

Chapter 7

Where am I?

Oh, right. I'm at my house. It feels really warm. Oh, it's Bakura. I keep falling asleep on him. Maybe I should apologize to him later. Then again, he doesn't seem to mind that I'm sleeping on top of him.

"Hey, sleepy head," I hear him say. No, I don't want to move yet. "Hey. You're kind of heavy. Get off."

I guess I should open my eyes before he throws me off or something like that. Ow! Hey, Bakura! That hurt. I rubbed the back of my head. He threw me off and I hit the back of my head on the table. That was dangerous.

"You could have seriously hurt me, Bakura," I whined gently as I continue to rub the back of my head. I see him getting up. Our relationship has been so far a thing where Bakura would be sweet one moment and then an asshole another. It was like he was too afraid of getting close to me. No, I'm probably reading too into this. He was probably late for dinner or something like that. "You're leaving?"'

"No, I'm getting a glass of water," Bakura replied from the kitchen. He gulped down the glass quickly. "So when is Marik getting back?"

"Oh, right! I should cook dinner," I said as I went into the kitchen. It was my turn to cook so that's why Marik was out on a date for such an extended period of time. I wonder if he ate on his date at all. "Normally you'd be home by now though, is there something wrong?"

"Wrong?" he asked. "What makes you think there's anything wrong with me? It's just that Malik and Yami that's annoying me at home. So, I don't want to go back yet. They'll probably mess up my good mood."

This was a good mood? He still abuses me a little even when he was in a good mood, and he says I'm not a people person. He's more so with how he treats everyone. I couldn't really help how I felt about him, especially when I see him trying to be nice to me.

"Then stay here for the night?" I asked. "You could stay on the couch or maybe in my room. I don't mind very much. I'm sure Marik will understand. Ah! Don't tell him about Malik. I don't think he wants to know that his older brother lives that close to us."

He looked at me, but doesn't say a word.

"Are you at least staying for dinner?" I asked, breaking the silence. "I usually eat with Marik, but he might have eaten something else on his date so I might have extra food left over tonight."

"Sure," Bakura said. "I'll spend the night with you, if you insist."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I jump a little. But I soon relax into Bakura's arms. There was really no reason to be this paranoid around Bakura. He hasn't hurt me yet. Even though at times I annoy him when we go on dates or when he's over and I fall asleep on him. He'd push me off, but it's nothing too bad. He probably doesn't even mean to hurt me.

"If you want, then we'll play around in your bed," Bakura said in a seductive tone. He groped my ass and I squeaked.

"Not tonight," I told him. I still wasn't ready to lose my virginity.

"Still nervous about it?" he asked me, as if he had read my mind. He just buried his face into my neck and I could feel his breathing on my neck. I wanted to shudder at the subtle sensation. "Do you have any beer?"

He just ruined the mood. I just sighed.

"It's in the fridge," I told him. "In the back."

Bakura went into the fridge and got himself a beer. He drank a lot while I was cooking. I was getting worried that he was going to pass out before I had finished cooking dinner. It would have been awkward to carry him to my bed if he did. I saw from the corner of my eye him drinking some more and walked over to me. He lifted my head with his hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His face was flushed. Was he drunk? "Did you actually want me to do something to you?"

He kissed me roughly. I moaned into this sudden display of affection. He pulled away before I got to kiss him back and I blushed darkly once I replayed the scene in my head. Bakura chuckled and I pouted a little. He wasn't being fair.

"I love you too," Bakura said as he continued to drink.

"What?" I squeaked out. Did he just say that to me? Okay, now I'm certain he was drunk. I was trying to get him to say those words to me for a while now. But why did he have to say it now? I secretly wanted him to say it to me on my birthday, which was soon. However, that was a bit girly of me.

"Don't make me repeat myself," he growled out as he pinned me into the nearest wall. I let out a soft yelp. I haven't been pinned to a wall like this since Marik assaulted me. I hope he wasn't going to do what I was thinking he'd do. He pulled away. "Never mind. I have a surprise for you soon."

Huh? Okay, maybe he wasn't drunk. I blushed darkly at the thought. That meant that he meant every word he said to me right? I smiled to myself and continued to cook.

"Okay," I said. "Thank you for staying Bakura."

Bakura didn't reply and took his beer drinking to my living room. Sometimes Bakura could be such a handful.

* * *

I had a present for Bakura so I was going to his house.

I didn't call ahead, because I wanted to surprise him. It was a gift from my dad, but I didn't have any use of it. It was this strange, golden knife with jewel on the hilt. It was probably just for decoration since it felt lighter than a normal commercial knife, but if I remember correctly, Bakura really likes this sort of thing. I didn't really need to worry about whether Bakura would like it or not. I was more worried about ringing the door bell and Malik opening the door.

So far I've been standing in front of his door for a while now, decided whether I should ring the door bell or not. I gulped and pressed the button timidly. Who opened the door was not Bakura or Malik, but Yugi?

"Yugi? What are you doing in this house?" I asked, not really expecting my only other friend to be waiting on the other side of the door that I have been waiting for what feels like hours to open. When was Yugi so tall?

"I'm not Yugi Moto," he said. His voice was a lot deeper than usual. I was starting to think that this guy isn't anything similar to Yugi other than their hair. "My name is Yami. Who are you?"

"My name is Ryou Bakura," I told him since he had introduced himself first. He did look a lot like Yugi, but there were noticeable differences just like there were differences between Marik and Malik, and Bakura and I. "Is Bakura inside?"

"You're looking for Bakura?" Yami asked. He raised an eyebrow and sighed. "I'll return whatever he took from you."

"Took from me?"

So, Bakura wasn't kidding about the stealing habit? I wonder if he took anything from my house that belongs to Marik. After all there were a lot of shiny things in his room. Oh, I'm not being focused enough.

"No, that's not the reason I'm here," I continued. I took out a box that was wrapped nicely. It concealed the decorated dagger inside. "I'm here to give him a present."

"A present?" Yami said. He looked at me from head to toe. I wonder what he was thinking. Was it that weird that someone wanted to give Bakura a present? Then again, maybe somebody didn't know what to give him, if he really stole things. If he was really good at stealing then he could have anything he wanted. I'll have to talk him out of stealing though. I don't want him to be arrested one day.

"He's in the kitchen arguing with Malik about something," he told me. He shook his head. "I doubt you want to go anywhere near there right now. Just wait in the living room."

I nodded and thanked Yami. I went over to the living room and sat down, but I could hear a bit of what was going on in the kitchen. I bet the living room was right next to the kitchen or maybe they were just that loud.

"You're just jealous because I'm winning the bet," I heard one of them shout. I think it was Malik. Yeah, I can tell it was him. There were crashing and sounds of things breaking. I was so surprised that Bakura could actually stand up to Malik at times. He didn't look very strong, though if I were to tell him that he'd probably get angry.

"I am so," Bakura argued back. "I have him wrapped around my little finger."

Huh? Who was wrapped around Bakura's finger? What bet were they talking about? Oh, where did Yami go? He was right next to me.

"Hey, thief someone I here for you," I heard Yami said. How did he get the courage to interrupt those two? I was kind of jealous, but then I realize that he might have just been numbed to this since it appeared to happen often.

"Tell the shit to leave, I haven't stolen anything," Bakura yelled out. I winced. It has been a while since I heard Bakura act like that.

"It's some boy with a gift for you or something," Yami said. "Ryou Bakura, I believe was his name."

Oh, no! He mentioned me when Malik was around. I paled, but I was frozen in fear when I heard the kitchen door creeping open. I turned my head slowly to see Bakura. I sighed in relief.

"What are you doing here?" Bakura said. His hair was a mess, but he looked fine. It didn't look like Malik caused any real harm to him so I smiled. Malik peaked over his shoulder.

"Wait, you've been dating Ryou?" Malik asked, surprised. I was expecting him to try to slit my throat with a kitchen knife or at least attempt to torture me. He had a creepy smile on his face. "How funny that will be when you tell him the truth."

The truth? Just what was the truth?

"What is he talking about, Bakura?" I asked, blinking my eyes. I looked at Yami who had this expression that he pitied me or something. Did they both think that Bakura was going to hurt me like Marik? But, Bakura has been a great boyfriend so far.

"It's nothing. Don't listen to the idiot," Bakura said dismissively. "Let's go to my room."

Malik chuckled. Maybe he had the same perverted mind that Marik had? If it's not that then what was so funny? Did it have anything to do with the bet? Was Bakura using me?

"Bakura," I said once we were in his room. It wasn't the room that I stayed in. There were posters all over the room as there were sketches lying on the floor. There were a collection of knifes on display. "Are you using me?"

Bakura looked at me.

"No, I wasn't talking about you, Ryou," he said. That was one of the rare times he used my name. He looked sad for some reason. I frowned and put my hand on his back.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! You shouldn't have been easedropping!" Bakura shouted. "So why are you here?"

"I-I brought you a present," I stuttered out and flinched when he had suddenly yelled at me. He was probably in a bad mood because I was listening in and Malik had do have done something to make Bakura's hate grow for him. "And I'm sorry."

He sighed out of frustration.

"Don't say that you're sorry," He said, like it was a bother. "Why did you get me a gift? It's not my birthday. It's not even close to my birthday. What's the occasion?"

"T-there's no occasion," I told him with a sheepish grin as I handed him the box. "It's a thank you present."

"A thank you present?" Bakura looked at the box and poked the bow that Marik had slapped on, because he insisted that it needed a pink bow on it. "Can I open it now?"

I nodded and smiled. He tore off the wrapping and opened the box. He took out the dagger gently and felt its weight. He stared at his reflection in the shine of the blade.

"Why?" He said softly.

That seemed to have come out of nowhere and I smiled. He must have really liked his gift since he was so surprised that I got this for him. I gently put my hand on his hand that was holding the hilt of the dagger.

"Because I love you," I said, as if that would explain everything to him. I kissed him gently on the lips. It was just a chaste kiss, but I saw Bakura's face flushed.

"Do you really think that's a good idea to give me a weapon?" He asked. "Especially this one, I'll probably kill Malik in his sleep with this to celebrate this event."

He grinned evilly and I laughed. Wait. Would he do that? I hope not. I didn't want him to get caught by the police or have Malik after him.

"I think that whether I gave you this or not wouldn't really matter since you have this knife collection in your room," I said with a frustrated sigh. What was Bakura going to do in the future? Rob, steal, and murder? Hopefully not. He chuckled in reply and planted a kiss on lips.

Even with the warmth of his lips upon mine, I still didn't feel easy about that bet. I should trust Bakura though. He hasn't really given me a reason to not trust him…yet.


	8. Betrayal

Chapter 8

Hm? Why was I with Bakura on a bed?

Wait, this isn't his house right? I sat up and looked around. No, this was my room. I looked down to see if I was naked, but no I wasn't. All I had was a raging hangover. I deeply sighed as I went into the bathroom to take some aspirin. I put another pair on the side table with a bottle of water. I looked over at Bakura and smiled.

I touched Bakura's cheek gently and brushed aside a few strands of hair. We had been drinking to celebrate my birthday a day early. I don't understand why Bakura insisted it. Maybe he had something else planned today. I shook Bakura gently.

"Bakura," I call out to him. "Wake up."

He groaned and turned around. Hm, I'll leave him alone. I think I'll cook breakfast today, even though Marik insisted that he should cook for me since it's my birthday. It was still early in the morning so I doubt he's awake.

I opened the kitchen's door to find out that Marik was actually cooking. That was strange.

"Marik, you're actually up this early?" I asked as I walked in. He jumped. Apparently he didn't notice me until I spoke. He looked over at me and sighed.

"Why couldn't you stay in bed and relax with Bakura?" Marik asked. "I wanted everything to be a surprise! That Bakura, he's useless."

"Well, now I can help," I suggested and I shrugged. "Bakura is still sleeping. I tried to wake him up, but he just shrugged me off and went back to sleep.

"I don't need you to and Bakura's not a morning person then," Marik said as he messily tried mix the batter. I laughed and took the whisk away from him. "Hey, I was using that."

"That's not how to mix ingrediants," I told him. "You're going to make your shoulders sore."

I whisk mix until it was light and frothy. He pouted and let me help him now that I just saved his shoulders from aching later in the day. I hummed gently as I went straight to cooking. I was so focused on it that I didn't feel Bakura hug me from behind.

"Hello, sexy," Bakura said as he kissed my neck. I blushed and squeaked.

"G-good morning, Bakura," I greeted Bakura and squirmed a little bit. "Breakfast will be done soon so you should wait in the living room."

"Why are you cooking?" he asked. "Isn't it your birthday?"

"He insisted," Marik answered him with a sigh.

"W-well, I wanted to do something," I stuttered out before Bakura could say anything. "Besides, you're a guest so I can't have you cooking and making Marik doing it all by himself for 2 other people and himself seems kind of mean."

I turned around to see Bakura's eyes narrow. Did I make him angry?

"What's wrong?" I asked with a frown.

"Go over to the couch and watch some TV or something," Bakura said, though it was more of a demand than a suggestion. I squeaked out and walked into the living room's couch while muttering, "Okay."

"Don't take it too hard, Brit," he called out from the kitchen. "I just want you to relax."

Again with the Brit. I've gotten used to it, but Bakura rarely ever says my name. However, I know now that was just a nickname he gave me. I lay down onto the couch and closed my eyes. I wonder if he planned something big for me.

* * *

After breakfast, Bakura spent the day with me. It was like there was something he was feeling guilty about. Marik decided to leave us alone after giving my gift. It was the new video game that I was looking forward to.

"Bakura," I said with a frown. "You're drunk."

I never actually have seen him this drunk before. I'd see him flustered and that was really about it. However, this time he wasn't walking straight. He was spouting out how he loved me and held me like I would suddenly just slip through his hands. How come I never hear him say those words when he doesn't have any beer in his system? I'll ask him later about it.

"We should go home," I said as I helped Bakura up. Luckily, my house was within walking distance, otherwise I'd have to find a hotel, because he was rather heavy. Once I got to the house and I brought Bakura to my room, he pinned me down on to the bed.

"Ryou," Bakura said. My name rolled off his tongue so easily. He frowned. That gave me a sudden sick feeling in my stomach. I must have been drinking too much. "Ryou, I've been lying to you."

Lying to me? What did he lie to me about?

He kissed my neck slowly and gently. He slowly took off my shirt and teased my nipples. He tugged at them experimentally and looked at my expression. I moaned out gently at his touch. Normally I'd tell him to stop but I felt too light headed to care. It just felt so good, why didn't I just let him do what he wanted before?

Bakura kissed down my chest and I squirmed a little. He unbuttoned my pants and slipped it off. He slid down my boxers with his teeth. He looked absolutely sexy. He touched my half hardened cock and pumped it until it was hard. He licked the tip and sucked on it hard.

"O-oh god!" I moaned out. "B-bakura!"

I was so entranced by how he ravished my mouth and the fingers that were slowly pumping my shaft that I almost forgot what he asked me. He bit my neck. It didn't hurt like when Malik had. He sucked on the spot and I knew that I would surely see that mark when I look at myself in the morning.

He seemed satisfied with the moan that I let out as he continued to touch my body.

"Has any one touched you like this before?" he asked me as he kissed me deeply. "Ever kissed you like I do?"

"N-no, w-well Marik kissed me before," I stuttered out. He frowned deeper. Why would he be frowning? Shouldn't he be happy that I was a virgin? He kissed me again, drowning out the questions that floated around in my head. The alcohol especially didn't help me. Oh god, those hands!

"Marik kissed you before? Didn't you give me your first kiss" Bakura asked as clenched my hips tightly.

"I did! Bakura stop! That hurts," I whined gently. His eyes narrowed dangerously. He pulled me into a rough, bruising kiss. He bit my lower lip hard and I could take the metallic taste of my blood.

"So, you cheated on me? You didn't have sex with Marik right?" Bakura asked again, his grip tighter. I groaned out of pain.

"N-no! Why would you even think that?" I asked as he loosens his grip. I gulp gently. "I didn't cheat on you!"

"You're lying aren't you!" he shouted in annoyance and I flinched. "You're just a slut."

Those words hurt me. That wasn't true. That wasn't true at all.

"Bakura! I'm not a slut," I told him, but he wouldn't listen to me. He turned me around and I felt something hard rubbing against my ass. "Bakura! No! I'm not ready!"

"Do you want to know something?" Bakura growled out darkly. He held me in place and whispered into my ear. "I'm using you."

"W-what?!" I shouted out. My chest panged in pain. What did he mean? How was he using me? Marik was right, I shouldn't have trusted him.

"I made a bet with Malik that I could stay with you until your birthday for 150 bucks," he hissed out. So that's what he was arguing with Marik's brother the other day! He wasn't lying to me about this. He was using me. Then why would he tell me that he loved me when he was drunk. I felt so sick.

"Let go of me!" I shouted out and fought against Bakura, but he was too strong. He had be pinned to the bed pretty tightly. "You're done with me right? You can just leave! I hate you!"

It hurts to say those words, but what he did to me hurt even more. It felt like I was suffocating from all this information. I was a bit tipsy, but I wasn't drunk. Did he tell me because he thought I'd forget it the next day?

"Not yet," Bakura said with a hiss. "I'm going to have my fun with you first."

Before I could protest further he shoved in his cock into my virgin ass. It hurt so bloody much. Get it out of me! Get it out of me!

"Fuck, you're tight for a slut," Bakura moaned out as he started to move.

I cried out in pain and screamed at him, "Stop, Bakura! Let go of me! Get out of me!"

He flipped me around and took out a knife. Where was he hiding that weapon?

"Shut up, fucking slut," Bakura hissed out. He glided the knife against my skin gently, but then he pressed deeper all of a sudden. I screamed and struggled. "The more you struggle, the more I'll hurt you, Ryou."

He hissed out my name like it was an insult. He carved into my flesh and started thrusting into me mercilessly. I choked out my sobs softly and bit my lip to stop my screams. He hit something inside of me that made me cry in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He took his knife away from my skin and licked the blade slowly before tossing it to the side.

"See? You're starting to enjoy me raping you," Bakura hissed with a dirty smirk. He pounded into my ass, using my blood as the only lubrication. I sobbed and he would only go faster and deeper into me. I closed my eyes. It hurt to even look at him. I wished he didn't turned me around. The pain that he betrayed me hurt a lot more.

"Open your eyes," he growled out as he tightly grabbed my throat. I panicked and opened my eyes right away before he killed me. He loosens his grip and kissed me deeply. He pounded into my ass for one last time and came inside. I came soon after.

I felt so dirty, so violated…so betrayed.

The door crashed open and Marik was there. He didn't have to kick the door open. It was unlocked. He saw how pathetic I looked and pulled Bakura away from me.

"Get out!" Marik yelled out. Bakura reluctantly left, leaving the knife that he marked me with. He looked at me one more time before he left, but I couldn't read his expression at all. Marik rushed over to me and tried to touch me, but I flinched away.

I was so dirty. Marik shouldn't touch me. I could still feel Bakura's cum coming out of my ass along with my blood. I was so sick with myself, at how I somehow found some pleasure in the rape. Even if the majority of the time was pain, it still made me feel bad. My body was dirty. I needed to get clean.

I got up, even though it hurt. I walked over to the bath room, despite Marik's plead for me to stay in the bed. I turned on the hot water for my shower and continued to scrub at my body to wash away the dirt, the blood. My vision was fuzzy with my tears and the lack of blood I had in my system, but I didn't care. I just needed to be clean.

That's when darkness over took me.


	9. Pain

Chapter 9

The sensation of loneliness was still suffocating.

"Ryou, are you alright?" Marik asked as he looked into the bathroom. I was still there, staring at my reflection. I traced the 'love bite' and frowned. I still felt dirty. I wanted to go back into the shower and scrub even harder until I felt clean. It wasn't that long ago since Bakura raped me. It was only a week actually. I didn't have to see Bakura for a whole week, because my birthday was right on winter break, but now I had to face him. I was terrified.

"I'm fine," I finally told him with a forced smile, but Marik knew me better. He knew that the smile was false and that I was still hurting on the inside. He reached to touch my shoulder, but he stopped himself.

"It's almost time to go," Marik said. "Don't you want to eat anything before we leave?"

I shake my head and he frowned deeply.

"Will you be okay?" he asks me.

Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be okay ever again. Bakura really hurt me. It felt like he was crushing my chest with a burden that wouldn't go away. His touch lingered on my body. It hurt too much to think about him, but he wouldn't leave my mind. I decided that Marik deserved some kind of answer.

"I'll be okay if you're there," I told him. He reminded me that I didn't really need to go to school today. Marik would give me the school work so I didn't miss anything, but I needed to face Bakura, even if it kills me.

Bakura had tried to call me every day, and Marik told me he didn't remember anything he did to me. He was probably too drunk to remember, but that didn't change anything that he did to me. I sighed deeply. Marik hesitantly walked with me to the school. The silence between us was really so thick that I could cut it if I wanted to.

My hand subconsciously touched my chest. The scars were still there on my chest and it was an unwavering reminder of how Bakura had betrayed me, because he had carved the word, 'Slut.' Marik got me some cream to help the scars fade, but it'll be a while before it would completely go away. I was lost in my thoughts for a while, until I saw Bakura in my homeroom. He pinned me to the wall and I flinched and trembled in his hands.

"L-let go of me," I cried out softly. My voice sounded so broken. His face of anger turned into confusion and worry, but I couldn't trust him. He's given me plenty of reasons not to trust him.

"Why were you ignoring my calls?" Bakura asked roughly. Malik wanted to pull him off, but Bakura was much stronger than him when he was sober. I could have told him what he did to me, but the words were caught up in my throat. "When I tried to visit, Marik said you were out. Were you cheating on me?"

I winced again. He was going to hurt me again.

"No," I said firmly, trying to stand my ground. "I was not cheating on you. Bakura, I want to break up."

Bakura looked at me and his eyes widened. What? It's not like he actually had any feelings for me. He was probably surprised that I would because I was supposedly 'wrapped around his finger'. I felt an anger rise with me.

"You were probably going to break up with me anyway even if I did try to see you," I spat out in answer. Bakura stayed silent and he let go of me. That must have meant that I was right, but when I looked at his face he looked like he was in pain. Tears came to my eyes as I ran from the room into the school's bathroom. Marik had followed me.

I sobbed into my hands over the sink. It hurt to say those words to him. I think I still loved him. After all he has done to me, I still loved him.

"Ryou, forget about him," Marik said, careful not to touch me.

Oh, how I wish I could, Marik.

* * *

I lay down on the couch while Marik was cooking.

He insisted that I ate dinner for once. It was pretty clear to him that I've been eating less and less. I just couldn't stomach the food very well, but I couldn't keep denying the thing that my body needed.

I flipped through the channels and got increasingly upset whenever there was some romance going on in this movie or show that I was watching. I either wanted to cry or get angry. It was a series of confusing emotions. I sighed and just turned off the TV. I didn't know why I felt so bored now.

Looking back on the past couple weeks, I realized that I spent most of my time with either Marik or Bakura. Marik insisted that stopped going on dates with his boyfriend until I got better, but when was that going to happen? I am sure that Marik's boyfriend was probably just as upset as Bakura was when I ignored him. Oh, I'm back to thinking about Bakura.

Remembering the pain that Bakura had inflicted onto me, I looked at my wrists. They ached and itched. I wanted to dig a blade into them badly, but there was no way that I would leave behind Marik. I wasn't that selfish. I haven't been listening to my instincts for a while now so there was no way that I'd listen to them now.

The door bell rang.

I hope it wasn't Bakura. Somewhere in my sick heart I wished that it would be, but that would never happened. He hasn't said a word to me since this morning.

I opened the door before I even think about looking at who was on the other side. I stared at who was in front of me. It was Malik.

"M-ma-malik?" I stuttered out. I needed to warn Marik.

"Where's Marik?" Malik said annoyed that I answer the door.

"Did Bakura tell you where I lived?" I squeaked out. Oh, please say no. Bakura wasn't that low. Was he? I don't even know anymore. He was a stranger to me now. He lied to me, so how would I know if anything he said to me was true.

"No, Ryou," Malik said. "Move before I hurt you."

"N-no!" I shouted out. I didn't want Marik to be hurt again. The memories of a broken Marik and how dark his eyes were to me made me shudder. I stood my ground.

"I warned you," he said with a crazy look on his face. He punched me square in the face and I fell down. I was bleeding from my mouth and I knew that a bruise was forming on my cheek now. I got up, even though my legs were shaking to run over to the kitchen, but it was too late. Malik had already confronted Marik. I saw Marik pressed against the fridge.

"Why didn't I see you for a week?" Malik asked, in rage. Wait? They seen each other already? Since when?

"I was tending to Ryou," Marik said. "I told you the reason over the phone."

"Ryou is just keeping you all to himself isn't he?" Malik asked. "He already has Bakura so he should leave you alone."

I winced at Bakura's name. Marik already met Malik? I'm so confused.

"Malik! What did you do to Ryou?" Marik shouted out as he pushed Malik away from him. Where did Marik get the strength to push him away? Maybe I was just weak. He ran over to me and his hand hovered over my cheek. "That's it! No sex for the rest of the month!"

"You don't mean that," Malik said, his eyes widening. "Do you?"

"What do you mean?" I had to ask. The questions that were forming in my head were starting to hurt me.

"Ryou, the one I was dating is Malik. It's a very long story," Marik said. Oh, I feel faint. I leaned against the door frame. "Hey! Ryou! Are you okay? This is why I didn't want to tell you."

"I'm fine," Ryou said. "Just shocked…"

Marik walked over to Malik and he pouted angrily.

"What did you do?" he demanded. Malik put his hands up in defense, though by the smirk on his face, he knew that Marik couldn't actually hurt him.

"I punched him that's all," Malik said with a cocky smirk. "I thought it would be fine since he was in my way. Besides the pain would toughen him up."

"That's your excuse?" Marik asked. "He had enough pain when Bakura raped him."

Did Marik really needed to tell him? I felt the memories of what happened flooding my head and I felt filthy again. I ran to the bathroom and threw up the water that I had drunk earlier. I stayed around the toilet, feeling dizzy and queasy.

"Ryou?" Marik walked over to the bathroom. He stayed near the door. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it. Malik says he's sorry too. Well not exactly, but he tried to. Malik is going to stay over. I couldn't get him to go away."

"Okay," I answered as and gagged again, only I had nothing to throw up into the toilet.

"He just can't stay away from my sexy body, you know," Marik joked, in hopes that my mood to lighten. It didn't. I got up and flushed the toilet. My legs were trembling. I walked over to the couch and sat next to Malik, even though I should lie down in my room. He seemed to be watching this really bad horror movie.

Marik returned to the kitchen to finish cooking. Malik moved closer to me.

"So, um…look about the other day that where I was trying to…" he started out and I raised my hand for him to stop talking before it got even more awkward between us.

"Just forget it," I told him and forced a smile. I sighed and looked at my hands. I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to get used to this. I looked at him and I noticed that his arm had some bloody bandages on it. He must have hurt himself recently. "What happened to your arm?"

He looked down. I didn't really expect him to answer me, because it was personal thing, but he looked at me as if he was suddenly proud.

"Bakura stabbed me with his golden knife that you gave him," Malik said. How exactly could he be proud of that? No matter if he's trying to hurt me or not, he was still a bit crazy. "I thanked him with throwing him out of the window."

"Is he okay?" I asked right away. I shut my mouth and looked away from Malik.

"Why do you care? Don't you hate him for what he did?" Malik asked.

"Isn't it also your fault?" I asked. "With that bet that you made with him?"

"H-hey! How do you know that?"

"Bakura told me when he was drunk before he raped me," I told him. There was no reason to keep it a secret since Marik already told him about the raping. I sighed gently.

"Really?" Malik asked. "He was drunk? No wonder he was so angry when he got home. Haha!"

He laughed so loudly that I thought that my ear drums would burst. I covered my ears. I don't understand why he was laughing. What was so funny?

"Then I know now why Bakura was so angry when he came home," Malik said with a chuckle. "He lost the bet with Yami then."

"Why is it that you three bet on something like this?" I yelled. I couldn't help it. They ruined my life. Bakura did it directly, but my life was like a game to the three. How horrible! "You three are a bunch of wankers!"

I ran from the living room and into my room. I locked the door. I heard, from my room upstairs, Marik's voice.

"Malik! What did you do now?"


	10. Good Bye

Chapter 10

My chest has become heavier and heavier with each passing day. It was painful to see Bakura. It didn't help when I sat right next to him in homeroom. He didn't even try to speak with me so that made it easier, but whenever I looked at him, I felt jealous at how he could act so normally. My feelings started to become more and more twisted as I started to hate the grin on Bakura's face. I hated how he returned to his normal days and my life was changed.

Because of the scars, I hid in my home room class room to change for gym now for school. Since I had a lot of classes different from Marik, he couldn't keep me company at school. However, I had a lot of classes with Bakura. We never talk, but it still hurt me to see him. It felt like I died 5 times in one day.

Gym was another class I had with him so I took my sweet time in changing. I was so deep in thoughts that I hadn't heard someone walk in. It wasn't until I turned around to get my shirt did I see this person. It was Bakura. What rotten luck I had.

He ran towards me and grabbed my arms. I flinched and trembled.

"Let go of me, Bakura," I said. My voice was strong now, but now my body was shaking uncontrollably. I must have looked so pathetic to Bakura.

"Who did this to you?" Bakura asked. He looked at my chest. I looked down and I noticed he was talking about the marks that he had caused when he was drunk. I shielded my chest with my shirt. I looked at him with a glare.

"How come you don't remember?" I asked him. Why was I the only one suffering? It was unfair so I finally said something about it to him. "You did it."

"I don't remember doing anything like that to you," he said. "I would have remembered."

"Well, apparently you don't," I spat out. He took a step back. I clenched my hands into fists. I was so tired, so angry of how Bakura did not remember what happened. He needed to know what he did to me.

"You raped me!" I shouted out. "You took my virginity on my birthday! You told me all about that little bet that you had with Malik. Well, I'm sorry that you couldn't win Yami's bet, but I couldn't pretend like nothing happened and be happy."

Bakura was silent. His eyes widened to the point that he looked like a little animal that was waiting for a car to run them over.

"Yes, I know everything," I growled out. "How you used me, how our relationship was only a form of entertainment for you. You even called me a slut when you took me. That really hurt."

I looked away. My chest was hurting. I was waiting for him to deny it, but he grabbed me again.

"It was an accident! I was drunk," Bakura shouted out, more in desperation than the anger that he tried to mask it under. I raised an eyebrow. He asked for my forgiveness and for a second chance, but a feeling suddenly stirred inside of me.

I laughed bitterly and pulled away from him. It was like I wasn't myself.

"I gave you a second chance already," I told him, my voice sounded strained and forced. "I already gave you a second chance you took it and stomped on it. Don't act like you started caring about me. I'm not falling for it again."

My chest panged in pain as I put on my shirt. I didn't hear anything from Bakura. Nothing at all. It was like he was frozen by my sudden outburst. I would have been shocked too, but my eyes were welling up with tears. I couldn't stay around him anymore.

"I really did love you," I said. I looked at him for one last time and smiled gently. It wasn't forced, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was more like a smile that you'd give when you were leaving for good. I ran out of the room. I heard Bakura called out my name as I ran, but I couldn't stop. I sobbed into my arm and tried to lose him. I looked behind me to see that he was actually chasing me.

I took quick turns and I ran into the nearest bathroom. I sobbed into my hands and fell onto my knees. It really hurt. I wanted to take him back and pretend that none of that happened, but I didn't want to be hurt because of him when he had already betrayed my trust.

* * *

I was alone again.

Marik had decided that I was okay now that I started to eat normally and smile more naturally. I took my time in the shower, trying to scrub away how dirty I felt about myself. He didn't notice that. Whenever I saw Bakura, he never looked directly at me. At times, I see him sneaking a few peeks at me in class, but that must only be because I'm sitting next to the window. He probably wanted to have nothing to do with me.

Though I should be happy about it, I can't help feeling how empty I felt. Yugi was distracted about some other drama his many friends were in. Marik was spending time with Malik, which takes a lot of time away from me, because even though Malik doesn't try to hurt me anymore, it's too awkward to be in the same room with him. Especially since he keeps complaining about Bakura, and it feels that I fall deeper and deeper into the hole of despair that I couldn't get out of every time I heard that name. Without any of them by my side, it just kept reminding me of how lonely I was.

Back when I was dating Bakura, there wasn't any feeling of loneliness that lingered in my chest when I was around him. Plus, due to his dislike for Marik and Yami, he spent his time over at my house now. We were really happy back then, even if it was only an illusion.

Now that I think about it, Bakura seems paler than usual these days. There are dark circles under his eyes, which I think just meant that he can't sleep with Malik bothering him. I can tell that Malik bothers Bakura a lot, because Marik would always complain about the new wound that his boyfriend slash brother had been showing off. Marik was convinced that Malik was either a masochist, or even more insane than we thought he was, if that's even possible.

I sighed deeply as I waved Marik good bye as he went with Malik on a date. It was summer now so I didn't see Bakura anymore on a daily basis and that I was stuck at home. I've been writing very depressing suicidal thoughts in my diary now.

Maybe the world was just better off without me.

Marik was happy, even though we spend a lot of time apart now. Malik was practically replacing me which I found rather ironic. I could still remember the day where Marik was convinced that I had replaced him with Bakura. It's kind of funny. I wish I could laugh.

But honestly, what was the point in being cheerful now? I had no other friends that I hang out with on a daily basis. My life was basically meaningless now and that ache of wanting to hurt myself was still there. I should probably put myself out of my misery.

I went over to the kitchen and took off my shirt. I traced the marks that were barely there from when Bakura hurt me. If I close my eyes, I could still see his face when he took my virginity. I took out a knife and slowly ran it across my skin. My breath hitched at the pain. I didn't expect it to hurt like this when I was the one holding the knife. It almost lessened my resolve, but Marik will notice that I hurt myself. He'd try and stop me.

He was truly a good friend. I was making him sound bad when I was thinking about how he had replaced me with Malik. Honestly, it was the similar treatment that I gave him in a sense when I was with Bakura, only Marik had the strength to join the two of us when we went to somewhere we both could enjoy or when we watched a movie together.

I took a deep breath and when I exhaled I cut into my flesh. The blood stained the blade and my blood was dripping from the wound to the floor. Why didn't I just listen to Marik? Why did I trust Bakura? Then again, ever if I didn't trust Bakura, I would end up being alone. There was no way for me to ask Marik to spend some time with me, not when Malik had made him so happy…

Again, I cut myself, but deeper. As I thought I continued to cut myself. It hurt so much, but I started to get used to the stinging pain in my arms. When I could ignore the pain now, I felt like I needed to be hurt more.

I felt light headed and I noticed there was a lot of blood on the floor. It had soaked through the white shirt that I had dropped. I fell onto my knees.

I wonder how Bakura would see me now. Would he call me weak as usual? I think he would think I deserved it for being a slut or tell me that he was right that I didn't deserve to exist on the same ground he walked. I can't help, but to think those things were true.

Oh? I could hear somebody shouting something and running around in the rooms. 'Hey, I'm in the kitchen,' I wanted to shout out, but I didn't have the strength to and my mouth was dried up. I can't hear them, their voices sound fuzzy to me. My vision was very hazy.

"Ryou, where are you?" I heard Marik called out. "Bakura's in the hospital!"

I'm sure that was what he said. So Bakura was in the hospital? Did he regret hurting me? No, I doubt it. Malik probably did something to hurt him. That sounded more logical. But I knew that Bakura wouldn't just die, he was stronger than that. I saw the door open, but it was too late, my vision was getting random black spots in places. The two people that entered were shouting something, but I can't hear them anymore. It felt like I was underwater.

I feel so cold. I hate this. I somehow managed to think about how warm it would have been to be in Bakura's arms right now… I guess I should say good bye to him.

Good bye, Bakura…I still love you even though you can't hear me.

I guess I wasn't strong enough.

I'm sorry.


	11. Regret

Chapter 11

_The pain remained in my heart._

_ Even though I must be dead now, I can't help but to feel lonely. I remembered seeing my life flah before my eyes in one point. I remembered the times that I spent with my sister and my mother and how they had died and left me behind. After my mum had died, dad stopped visiting me. I noticed that, but I never said anything._

_ I remember the time that I met Marik. It was a purely innocent meeting. Well, it was on my side. Marik however crudely asked whether I was a girl or boy and then groped my chest. He was insisting that I played with him in the park all day until it was dark, but even when it was dark, he didn't want to go home._

_ It wasn't a good idea for two people to be alone in the park, and I wanted to go home so I convinced him to let me walk him home. That's when I saw his dad yelling at him for staying outside for so long or even going outside at all and hit Marik. I took Marik's hand and ran that night to my house where his dad couldn't follow us. He tried, but I knew all the short cuts to go through to lose him._

_ I frantically called my dad and insisted that I moved to Domino City. He didn't question it and the next day I moved with Marik to Domino City. That's how we started living together. I had to teach Marik how to cook, but it wasn't that bad. I met Yugi here as well. We played games with each other at school, but lately he's been busy so there was no point in me being around. He made it without me before so he can do it again._

_ Oh, now I remember Bakura. I can almost hear his voice. He was calling me Ryou for once. Oh there was it again._

_ "Hey, Ryou," the voice shouted out again. "Look at me. Stop ignoring me!"_

_ I looked around the black emptiness around me and I noticed that Bakura was right behind me. He looked so relieved that he hugged me tightly. Was this a dream? My face fell. If it was a dream then that meant that I wasn't dead. How worthless am I? I can't even die properly._

_ "Did you die too?" Bakura asked. "What happened? Who did this to you?"_

_ Huh? Die too? Did Bakura think he died? Wait. Wouldn't it make more sense if it was my dream?_

_ "I did it to myself," I said, looking upon my arms. It looked like I was still bleeding. My arms were a mess of red. "Because I didn't want to feel like I was alone anymore."_

_ "Ha! You have Marik don't you? You're not alone," he spat out._

_ "He's been around Malik lately, so I never see him anymore," I told him. Why tell him this? I didn't trust him. I was supposed to hate him, but I must have thought that it would be okay since this wasn't real. Even if it was then if we're dead then it doesn't really matter anymore. "I don't have any other friends that would spend their time around me, and I couldn't bring myself to forgive you. Even though I still know that I love you."_

_ Bakura hugged me close to his body. Even though this was a dream, he felt warm. I cried into his chest. If only he was doing this before I tried to kill myself. I hugged him close and cried into his chest._

_ "I love you."_

I gasped with my eyes wide open. It was only a dream, but where am I? I looked around and sat up. Marik was asleep next to the bed that I was resting on. I looked around the room to see that I was in the hospital. Hey, what's that mess of white hair on the other bed? Bakura?

"Ba-bakura?" I stuttered out, my voice was sore and dry. My eyes hurt from the light in the room. Marik stirred and looked at me.

"Ryou!" He shouted and hugged me tightly. "I thought you'd die for sure. Why did you do something that stupid?"'

He frowned at me and I felt guilty for making him worry. I looked down, hiding my face with my hair and hugged him back weakly. I looked at him and motioned towards my throat. He nodded and got me a bottle of water. I drank it fast and looked at Marik.

"Don't worry, they won't put you into a mental institution," Marik said with a nod. "Malik took care of it. Don't ask me how, you don't want to know."

Anything with Malik 'convincing people' was something I didn't want to know. I looked at him and decided to speak, "Why is Bakura in the hospital?"

"He tried to commit suicide too," Marik told me. There was a pang of pain in my chest. Why would he do that? All I knew was that he was under a lot of stress. Was that it? Stress does do a lot of things to the body and mind.

"He's in a coma," he told me and my eyes widened. No, why would he be in a coma? "He swallowed some pills while he was drinking or so Malik told me. He left a note for you, but I don't think you're in shape to read it right now."

I shake my head.

"No, I want to read it now," I told him.

"Are you sure?" Marik asks me.

"I'm sure, let me read it."

It was addressed to me. I should read it. Otherwise, it's like disrespecting his memory. Why was I acting like he's dead? He's not dead. He's stronger than that. He'd wake up at any moment and probably yell at me that I was treating him like he was dead.

Marik took out a piece of folded paper from his pocket and gave it to me. I opened it and saw the writing that was scribbled down neatly.

_Dear Ryou,_

_ I know what you must think of me, after knowing that I had used you for some stupid bet with that crazy bastard and the guy that believes that he's the pharaoh. You probably hate me. You won't forgive me. But after tonight, you won't have to deal with me anymore. Are you happy now?_

_ If you are really are reading this and not threw it into the trash yet, then I need to tell you something. I should have told you this before. I did begin to like you when I was dating you. Hell, I love you. Even though now that I messed up and I should probably move on, I can't. You haunt my dream. I can't stomach my food anymore. I just keep thinking about you._

_ Pathetic. I am pathetic. You probably deserve better anyway._

_ Good bye,_

_ Bakura Yami._

My eyes swelled up with tears and I cried into my hands. We were both stupid. I was too stubborn to forgive Bakura and he was too stubborn to tell this to my face. If we actually talked earlier maybe this wouldn't have happen. Maybe right now we could have been doing something else. I didn't ask for all this drama, it just found me.

"Ryou?" Marik called out as he touched my shoulder. I cried into his chest, though it wasn't the same as how I was crying into my dream Bakura's chest. It wasn't as warm as I expected it to be, but it was good enough for now.

"When will he wake up?" I asked Marik, forcing my voice to be strong. He had to wake up soon. I had so much to tell him. I wanted him to smile at me, to call me Brit. I would even want him to yell at me for being so stupid. I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted to go back to how we were.

"We don't know," Marik told me and I frowned. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a bloody mess," I told him and looked over at Bakura. "I should probably apologize to him when he wakes up."

"It's up to you," Marik said. "The doctors say you're not going to be released out of here for a while now, so you have a lot of time to think about it."

I nodded. That was true and I would be always here to see Bakura in a sense. It was summer so no problems with the homework that school would put onto me. Also, I needed the chance to relax. I looked over at Bakura.

"Hey," Marik said. "I'll visit you every day so you won't get lonely. Alright?"

I smiled at him. I could always count on him.

"Besiiiides if I'm here with my sexy body then you won't have time to be depressed!" Marik claimed. I laughed. It was such a long time since I last laughed. It felt good. "After all of this is over. Maybe we'll go and watch a movie together."

"Are you asking me on a date?" I joked, finding myself feel lighter for a moment.

"Maybe," he said with a wink. "If it's a double date is what you mean."

"A double date?" I asked out of surprised. He really thought that I could get back together with Bakura. I smiled to myself. I was beginning to believe so as well now.

"Of course!" Marik said. "And Bakura will be treating, because Malik said he just found his stash of stolen goods."

I laughed again.

"Wait, you're joking right?"

* * *

_"I love you," I heard him whisper into my ears._

_ "I love you too," I told him with a smile on his face. After all this time I was able to say it back to him, even though it was in a dream. I saw tears in his eyes and then a white light flooded my senses._

I sat up in my bed.

When did I? Oh right I was home now. I wished I could have been dreaming more. Now, that Bakura was still in a coma. I was starting to lose faith.

It's been a month now. I've been released from the hospital, but I came to visit Bakura every day. Lately, I've been dreaming about Bakura. It was wonderful, too wonderful. I started to want to be sleeping along side with Bakura, even though he was in a coma. I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Oh you're awake," Marik said as he was naked in only an apron. I covered my eyes. "Oh, I was hoping that Malik woke up earlier than you."

"I don't want to know," I said as I felt my way over to the door. "I lost my appetite. I'll eat something after I visit Bakura."

I wanted to burn that image out of my mind. He could have done that over at Malik's house. I did not want to see my best friend like that. It felt like today wasn't going to be a very good day. I sighed and soon I found myself in front of Bakura's hospital room.

"Don't stop me! I got to get out of here!" I heard a voice shout from inside of the room. Bakura?

"Sir, you have to relax," another voice said inside the room. "You just woke up from a coma."

I gulped and hoped that I wasn't going crazy. I opened the door and saw that Bakura was almost going to assault the nurse when he saw me. He ran over to me and hugged me so tightly that I thought that I'd suffocate.

"Ryou, I'm so sorry," he muttered out.

I cried so hard into his chest that day.


End file.
